Yeah cancel my long-awaited(six whole days man) supper. I'm gonna watch Transformers of all things with Adrian. He tried so hard to convince me so I gave in eventually. And at his fav theatre some more, Balestier Shaw. Maybe we'll head over to Asoka after. Hahahaha.

Adrian : Eh watch transformers with me lah.
Me : Don't want lah. Watch car become robot only.(insert random small become big action by me here}
Adrian : Nooo. Aeroplane also can!

Keep in mind this is my almost 25 year old brother. Who never outgrew his fav cartoon. And I kena all the consequences.

I'm such the loving sister man. Watching dumb movies for my brother all. I even watched snore-fest LoTR for him man. All 3! You can just imagine Adri having to explain every single thing to me.

Oh. And sample convo since I suddenly remembered between Bitch and I.

Clarissa : Eh I think first day we start school we getting back GP.
Aileen : We first day of school becoming vegetable?

Clarissa : Eh my brother drink my Red Bull lah.
Aileen : Huh your brother dream I rape you?

You don't need to play Broken Telephone with Bitch and I around lah. Saying once is funny enough. Hahahaha.

Ok lah. Off to dress my Asokan best. Hahahaha.

EEEEEEEE. I'VE GOT SICK TUMMY MUSCLES NOW! EEEEEEEE. GET IT OFF GET IT OFF. SO GROSS OK. MAKE THEM GO AWAYYYY.

I wish bellydancing wasn't so fun man. Then I can stop showing off to my friends how I can make all these exciting muscles I never knew existed move.


Finally going for supper with all my fav kawan. Cooped up for one week not studying sucks ok.


I realised this whole post doesn't sound very Clarissa like. Nvm. Its what horrible afternoon Biology papers will do to you.


Oh and its CLER-IS-SAH. Or CLER-IS-SUH depending on your accent. NOT CLAAAAAAAA-RIIII-SAAAAA. Fucking annoying ok. If I could tiger roar I would lah. Nvm let's pretend. RAAAARRRHHH.

Mum says to wait another month before we go get my lump checked out. Its kinda freaky cause she says it doesn't move when she rubs it, which apparently is a bad sign. And it doesn't seem to be getting any smaller. Its been there for like 6 weeks now I think? Maybe this isn't the kind of thing I should post on my blog, cause I really don't wanna worry my friends about it, but its just something I've been getting pretty paranoid over lately. Which is why I've been forcing Daddy to buy copious amounts of brocolli for me every week from the market. Hahahaha. And drinking green tea by the gallon. Three cheers for anti-carcinogenic whatevers.

In other news, papers start up again in about 12 hours. And of all things to start and get me even more un-motivated than I am now, its 3 hours of maths to kick things off. What's the bet I can finish the paper in half an hour? I keep telling myself, you're supposed to do badly for mid-years right? First time we're doing a full paper and all. Fabulous reason. And if all else fails, I'll rely on that old standby, I blanked out during all my papers. Besides, prelims' the important one. Stick around another two months and you'll totally see it here, A's the important one. Hahaha.

I'm off to not study now. Byeeee.

I can't remember the last time my family went to watch a movie together. And we're going tonight. Which wouldn't normally be such a problem, except mid-years commence Tuesday, and last minute girl needs all the time she can get right about now. Which is where the guilt and turmoil begin. Dad says I shouldn't worry. I've been cooped up in my room all day, presumably studying, and going out all night, presumably to work the studying off. Hahahaha. What he doesn't know is I study about half an hour a day if my brain can take it, and which really just started on Thursday, as in three days ago.

Panic panic panic. Which idiot came up with staying calm in a crisis. I've been calm the whole holidays, its about time for some damn panic.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO FOUR WEEKS?

I hate hate hate Blogger's new autosave function. I keep typing posts halfway and telling myself I'll just continue it later. And then I never do. Got like 4 like that already. All these useful functions are horrible for procrastinators like me.

Anyway, on to my post. Which was quite inspired by a friend's post on fat, or more like how he didn't want any of it.

Fat. Seriously, what's the big deal. Why is everyone so obsessed with losing it. I'm happy with my fat. Without it, I wouldn't have breasts, unless its not actually fat and like mammary stuff or whatever but so not the point anyway. I wouldn't fill my jeans as nice. I'm not saying I'd be happy gaining a lot more weight or whatever, but come on. Without fat, girls wouldn't be warm and soft anymore. If you paid any attention to Secondary School Biology, fats keep you warm. They prevent the loss of water from your body. Now imagine this. If I took away all my fat, all I'd be left with is bones. Which is freakyy cause I don't wanna look like a certain someone. And then I'd have to drink water non-stop, and have to wear a million jackets just to walk around in the hot sun. Anywhere else, I'd be shipped off to a clinic for anorexia. Here I'm just the norm. I mean sure, I watch my diet. But it isn't so much about losing weight, its more like not putting so much junk in my body. I've never said like, Ok today I'm gonna starve and lose weight. I've said, ew Maria made something gross for lunch, I'm gonna eat an apple instead, but thats because I don't want to eat her gross food.

[Update : I actually bothered to look through my mail to find this picture, to further prove my point that we all need some fat]





The way I see it, there's good fat, and then there's bad fat. No I'm not talking about saturated trans mono poly whatever. I count good fat as being yummy stuff. The stuff you eat when you're depressed, angry, or when it happens to be in the fridge. And even if its technically bad for you, hey your body takes care of that too. What do you think tummy aches are for. Besides, at least the discomfort you feel comes with knowing you had a couple hours of joy before. Bad fat to me is stuff that's gross. Like when someone gives you something dunked in a pool of oil, and it doesn't taste nice. Then you like kena diarrhoea, and have to bear with the pain that you totally brought it on yourself by eating food that so wasn't worth it. Hahaha.

Its taken me a long time to get to here, but I'm finally totally happy about the way I look. I can't be bothered about what anyone else thinks anymore. Least of all my mother, who finds faults in me from head to toe. Oh enough with the self-deprecation Clarissa, everyone knows you're tortured. Ok stop talking to yourself Clarissa. Thank you.

Ok. I've lost track of what I was talking about. Before I let Blogger autosave and close this window, I might as well post this first. I apologise for the lack of effort in making this funny. I'm pretty braindead now as it is.

Alamak I studied for half an hour and can die of neck pain now. I either need a higher table or a lower chair. Yay for a new excuse to not study! Lame Sasa lame.

Went driving around with Adrian last night. Turned on the radio, heard some girl singing about her umbrella. Sheesh. The music people listen to these days. Thank god I'm not 12 anymore.

Then we turned on Tokyo Drift, blasted it really loud, wound down the windows and started acting damn beng. Super funny. I swear until you try it you have no right to judge me. It makes you totally want to do the whole head nod thing at the guy the next car over when you stop at the traffic light. Or the whole finger jabbing in the air thing. Hahahaha.

It all started a couple of weeks ago, when Adrian played it damn loud in his room over and over and I got damn annoyed.

Clarissa : Eh play normal music can. Fucking annoying ok.
Adrian : I just realised this was in English!
Clarissa : Idiot.

Isn't it so weird that I play Zero 7 and Adri plays like Timbaland. Eek. Rewind a couple of years and we've swapped places. Freakyyyy.

Anyway, yah lah, the Cross family damn slow to catch onto trends. So sue us. Three months from now we'll be dancing along to the umbrella song. You can stand under my umbrella. Oh if only I could remember more words to this silly song, I'd totally go make fun of Joshua. Except he listens to Ayumi Hatasuki or whatever her name is. God help me.

I just had the most disgusting lunch ever. If my camera was working I'd have taken a picture of it.

Mum bought the chinese mixed rice back for Adrian and I. Despite us telling her repeatedly we'd rather have like 2 meats and 1 tofu instead of any form of vegetable, she will insist on it. Today it was sambal beans. Okay lah not as bad as most days. So anyway, I went to have my shower before eating. And when I come out all scrubbed up and clean, I find Adrian's been messing around with my packet. He dumped all his beans in my packet and took all my meat! All of it ok. And he quickly finished his food before I came out so cannot take back also. Honestly, brothers will be the death of you. So I essentially had this packet of rice covered full of beans. And since I was too lazy to like go fry an egg or what I just had beans and rice. Macham WWII like that lah.

And thus concludes the story of my disgusting lunch. You people have nothing better to do then read this ah.

HOW ANNOYING IS IT WHEN,

INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK IN A BIKINI LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (You call it complacency, I call it self acceptance. Let's all give and take a bit here.)

I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER REALLY RED ECZEMA PATCHES ARE OBVIOUS, VERY UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE.


Guess its gonna be a while before I make it to the beach again. Sigh.